I Just Wanted Tacos

So, a few nights ago I had a pounding headache. Not a regular headache but a throbbing migraine and I had no desire to cook at all so decided to go to a local 24 hour Mexican restaurant to grab a bite to eat...BIG MISTAKE when it's late at night. First of all the lobby is closed so I can't get to the salsa bar and I should have known that was a sign from the Mexican gods. Anyways, I go through the drive thru and order my food and as I am in line waiting I am just looking around me because I don't want to get robbed due this being a shit ass part of town. My dad would have a fucking cow if he knew where my 35 year old ass was. So I keep seeing this weird movement out of the corner of my eye as I am looking at the shot up drive thru sign and there is this woman that is literally stripping down to her BARE ASS. I didn't miss a beat and I just kept staring but not in disgust as it was only in curiosity. She starts squatting and taking a dump in the giant open parking lot and that is not even the worst of it. She is dead ass making eye contact with me. I am waiting for food , not losing my appetite, drinking my drink and staring her down. I am not sure if she wanted to fight me or fuck me or even just shit on me. Either way, I was interested. She starts doing this weird chicken walk thing and I can only guess it was to scrape a turd off. You know, like when a dog eats one of your hairs and it attaches the poo to its butt so the keep walking and scrunching their legs. What I am saying is picture this, no clothes, squatting, poo with hair attached to the booty hole and a little butt dragging for good measure.

I tried to learn my lesson about not staring but I am not going to lie. I will stare again and I probably won't miss a beat. Either way it's not my problem because I poo in the loo and I use toilet paper but kudos to her for her bravery. She will go down as a legend in my book.

-Chels O.

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