Welcome To The Family Round 1

I am sure this first blog entry will not be the most entertaining to you but please stick with me as I just want to introduce the key characters in my life so that you have a better understanding as to why I have issues. I guess it is best to start with my parents so here we go.

Kim- my mother. She stands a solid 5'1" and she is built like a brick shithouse. She is absolutely stunning in beauty, funny as hell, an amazing cook, private business owner and the best smelling person I have ever smelled in my whole life. She is most definitely the meanest "Mama Bear" that I have ever encountered. Like, she is not the "let's talk about how you hurt my kid" kind of mother. She is more like the "I will rip your head off and shit down your throat kind of mom". God bless that woman.

Tony- my father. He is a retired police officer and he thinks all the women want him (jk) and to be fair he is pretty adorable. My dad barely knows how to use an oven and still calls me for directions on how to use the crockpot. He makes the best brisket I have ever had in my whole life. His whole family came from Mexico and that is something that we take pride in. All in all I will give him a 10/10 on the parental scale.

Billy- step dad. Billy is my mothers husband. he came into my life when I was 9 years old and I have probably given him a run for his money more times that he can count. His favorite movie is "Michael" with John Travolta. He watched it so many times back to back that I would literally start crying when it came on. He has stuck out the worst times with our family and it wasn't until my late-ish 20's that I started to let him into my life. To this day, I am glad he stayed in our family even though it probably would have been easier to just walk out.

Kennedy- my sister. Kennedy was the 2nd born of us 5 kids. She is a wonderful mother that is super involved in health and fitness and that's probably why we occasionally clash. I am a fat shit cat and she looks like the Greek Gods carved her out of stone. She is marrying somene that i am 99% sure hates me.

Mason- my brother. Mason is the third born of us 5 kids. He is snarky, cute as a button, builds the best bonfires, has a mischievous smile and prefers to get himself to safety before saving me from a giant falling tree. In all honesty though, that boy gives the best hugs.

Brickey- my brother. Brickey is the fourth born of us 5 kids. He is probably the one that I baby just a little too much. He is my free spirited bubby. Brickey towers over me by a solid foot or more. He is this massive gentle giant who would do anything to protect those he loves. He moved down south to spread his wings and I see so much of myself in him.

McKensie aka Mackie aka Max- my sister. Max is the baby of us kids. She looks like a runway model and has an attitude for dayyyyssss. Her heart is pure gold and she does her best to help anyone around her that needs it. She is a lover of dogs and is terrified of snakes. I have never asked her what her biggest fear is but I am sure that it is probably sitting down to go pee and getting bit on her left ass cheek by a snake. It just sounds like something she would fear.

Darren- my better half. Darren and I started dating back in 2012. He tries to tell everyone that he is 6" tall but he is really only 5'10". He is an avid state park volunteer and is my favorite bartender. He always finds the time, money and energy to donate to charity. He has stated that he, "likes to help the less fortunate" but he never wants to help me clean the house. He lets me poop with the door open because he knows I am claustrophobic so that's pretty cool.

Recent Posts

See All

So, a few nights ago I had a pounding headache. Not a regular headache but a throbbing migraine and I had no desire to cook at all so decided to go to a local 24 hour Mexican restaurant to grab a bite

A rag? What the fuck is that anyways? Everytime there is an argument with Darren’s dumbass he calls me a “rag”. Like dude, I have no clue what that is. I mean, I have a general idea of it being someon

I love running seeing people from my past that weren't total dicks to me in school. Today I saw one of my few high school crushes. He was a sweet, tall and charismatic guy that could make every guy je